Mobile Blogging Finally!

Yes! Something I've been trying to do since days...my mobile blogging has finally started! When I say trying, I meant I wanted to do it but was putting only half-hearted efforts and that too in the wrong place. That is like pushing a locked and bolted pull door feebly. But well, now that it's rectified, I'm more than glad at the thought of blogging whenever I wish. So long!!=)

Outlet To Confusion...My Way!

   Everybody have different ways of reacting to confusion and the kind of depressing feeling it brings along. I, for instance, go real quiet and way into my thoughtful mode(well, atleast more than usual!). Whether I come up with a solution or not is never promised, but I always(and obviously) do need an outlet for those 'thoughts'. Now I have this wonderful option of blogging, but since years, my outlet mostly always has been my poems. They are the deepest and truest, most exact expression of the state of my mind. And I secretly think that nobody,yet, has fully and exactly understood any of them, except me ofc. That gives a feeling of security, although I don't know why! But even then, unknowingly, I keep on searching/waiting for atleast one person who'd take this exception of me; again I don't know why! And I don't even know why I'm writing all this now! See the confusion? I got lots more!:) So here's one outlet to such confusion:

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

To be or not to be
That gurl they wanna see
To be or not to be
That gurl they fail to see
To be or not to be
What I or they don't believe
To be or not to be me?
A soul so thoughtful
Understands everyone's wonderful
Is she a fool?
To trust, think, feel, talk
The trust never doubtful or wavering
The thought never selfish,only considerate
So, does the feeling have to be only pain?
The talk only superficially happ?
The dilemma that haunts day and night
The lonliness that creeps up in a crowd
The hurt locked up deep inside
Will it ever solve, disappear, dissolve?
'Cuz when it does, I'm waiting..
To be or not to be Me...

-Heli...

Bonds of Love and Craziness- a belated dedication to my friends!

The best enjoyment of our lives is mostly, always with our friends. A night few months ago was same for me. A sleepover at a friend's place is always full of fun and excitement. And whether you are 12 or 20, doesn't matter. 'Cuz we can be as much kids as adults with our friends. A friendship day celebration that kept on getting postponed for a month, finally resulted in super fun- worth the wait, I say.

   So what if the plans kept chnging even at the last moments. It is nothing new at all with my group. We can never meet as and when we decide! There's always confusion- evrybody ends up at different places before  creating still more confusion and coming to a common decision of somewhere. And after we finally meet, there's more confusion and chaos as each of us try to explain what happened in our own way. Anybody watching us would have a real dose laughter. We take almost an hour to settle down i.e. the chaos just subtles down:)
   Conversation, laughter, food, even tears- togetherness is all we want! Talking over eachother at dinner table, cracking up at random things, rapid fire games, gossip(all girls gossip..but we do only good :-D), update exchanges, serious discussions, fighting over who'll get their lazy bum off to make maggie or fetch water, catching 40 winks while not letting others sleep, picture posing(never good poses though!)..I could list but it wouldn't end! 14 years of knowing credits for more than a list..much more:)
   I just hope and wish that such bonds don't turn into the kind that weaken and fade over time and distance!:)

Exams? Tests? Copy! Really?

   Remember when you were a student? And I'm talking about school times; specially during exams or tution tests. I'm sure everybody has copied, or atleast tried to copy a few times. So you'd know how that used to be..
   Presently I'm having the chance of observing it all- the sideway glances looking sly, fidgeting, playing with pen, scratching head/ear, playing/smoothing hair, signals for giving answers, watching the supervisor, looking randomly when caught, making very thoughtful face- apart from writting of course, I can see it all. Since I've taken up supervising tests in a tution as a kinda weekend job, I enjoy my experience each time I'm at it! Let me tell you about the fun..There are basically 2 classes- the 11th grade and the 12th grade. This furthermore gets divided into Boys and Girls.
   The 11th grade boys are actually pretty obvious when they try and copy, although they can be perfect little monsters at times, nicely creating a commotion so that the otherss get their chance, and then grinning at me as if nobody could be more innocent than them! Charming brats. When I confront them with a raised eyebrow( I love doing that LOL) and a questioning look, they have the cheek to ask me what happened! As if they don't know what they're doing! Whereas the 12th grade boys just shrug, giving a message that they couldn't care less and go right ahead and do what they want....well, untill I take away one's paper or throw somebody out; then they'll behave...both graders for that matter!
   The 11th grade girls oh so sly! And quick too. Initially I thought they're the sincere ones calmly writting the paper. But after being more attentive( pure curiosity!) I realised that they're just smarter than the boys! Don't mind saying I'm proud to be a girl haha! But if I consider the 12th grade girls, I can't be so sure. Oh sure they're smart. But so full of attitude! God! One would think they're doing me a favour writting their paper. Sparing me the one over look when they enter, they couldn't care less what I told them if they try to copy. Although now I've got the hang of handling them so it's fine. Initially it was a kinda bit scary...I don't appreciate attitude, rest alone bad attitude problem!
   All in all, I do let give all of them enough chances before I give the warning, take away the paper or throw them out. Silent copying ain't disturbing anybody, right? As long as it's not disturbing the class, it is ok sometimes. Hey!after all I was a student like that too!:)

-Heli..

Coffee- universal solution!

   Surprised? Wondering how? Well, scientifically it's the caffeine, which is a stimulant, and so it activates the mind and clicks on that little fast forward button. Atleast, that's how it is for me. Everything from headache to laziness, tension to sleep, coffee affects me as I need.
   Apart from that, it of course is a great excuse to meet people and lenghten the conversation. A way, as humanly possible, to stop the tick of time. So, I have coffee when I'm sleepy but have work. I make it when I have pounding headache and wanna get rid of it. I make it when when I need a energy boost up early morning and get fresh. And I make coffee anytime of the day just because I simply love it!
   Not really a tea person, coffee suits me best, cold and hot both; that or hot chocolate. But right now I'm really craving for Irish coffee, which unfortunately I cannot make it myself because I don't have the key ingredient. Nevertheless I'm writting down the recipe here, incase any of you might be interested:)

Irish coffee made with coffee, sugar, whipped cream, and whiskey.

Ingredients:

• 2 teaspoons sugar, or to taste
• 2/3 cup hot brewed coffee
• 2 tablespoons Irish whiskey
• whipped cream, sweetened if desired

Preparation:

Combine first 3 ingredients; top each cup with a generous dollop of whipped cream.

 

Enjoy your time stilling solution!:)

 

-Heli..

Waiting..

I told my friends that I'll write about our wonderful meeting yesterday but I'm not really in the mood today so, sorry it'll have to wait. Today it'll be one of my favorite poems that I wrote alomost 4 years back!:

I'm always waiting here,

For my heart to cheer.

I'm waiting for you to come;

Making my gloom run.

Hoping you would feel

The absence of my glee.

Hoping you would see

My sorrows burning in the sea.

But you never came,

Never felt, never even to see;

What has become of me.

My heart, suffering the agony,

Refusing my sorrow

And not letting it swallow(me).

Kept me always wishing, hoping

Seems like the last star of hope

Will be caught and gone unblinking

Not knowing how hard it is to cope

Hope, so strong however small,

Has kept me going strong;

And kept me waiting, for none yet for all.

-Heli..

World full of Hypocrites!

   Ever tried those 'personality' quiz on Facebook? There is one question that is generally asked: Which secret power would you wish to have? or something similar. Since a few days I've been thinking that I would love to hear minds. I really envy Edward Cullen(although I so totally love him!)!
   I mean, I want to know what people actually mean by their words. When somebody says' "Hi, oh my gosh! How great to see you! Such a coincidence, I was thinking of calling you up just a few days back. I've so missed you, you know? You look so lovely! What did you do to hair!? They're gorgeous! We really should meet more often." Blah, blah, blah. Does it actually mean "Oh my gosh, you exists! Do I even have your number to call? When did we meet last? oh, too much to think. You've got dark circles under your eyes and your skin looks dull and seems like you've been eating nothing but calories and your clothes are so not branded and well, your hair is ok, nothing great though. Can you stop talking so that I can go?"
   OR "It's really not fair that you don't keep in touch. I've become so lonely. You used to be my best friend. You haven't changed a bit!"  Blah, blah, blah. Umm, hello?? Really? If my being outta touch has made you so lonely, then how come your Facebook updates shows you partying almost every single day or that you go out for dinners and such with all friends and didn't think of calling your 'best friend'? Forget that, do you see me going around with 'stay away' board? Who has stopped You from staying in touch?
   OR "What happened? You don't deserve to stay sad at all. You look best when you smile. What happened to that smile? You can trust me. I'm your friend." Blah, blah, blah. Is it something like "What did you do now? Why do you always keep creating problems then make that face. Face your own shit. But first tell me the story. I can't wait to hear what's the latest gossip. C'mon I'm the best gossiper so you can tell me."
   Sounds mean? Mean but true. Most people are like these. There are more examples, oh many more, but I really have to think hard about the real mean translations, so just these for now. Although most of you might have experienced this and more or might have behaved in such a fashion at some point too. It's sick, really. Why do such people even bother to talk, if all they can do is think mean!?
   I, obviously have met many such people. And each time I don't understand why do they bother with me. Untill a few years, probably still now, I was called a snob. Not because, I use to be mean to people. I'm actually very shy, so don't really talk easily to new people; never go up to talk myself. So, I use to be(still am) quiet and less interactive. And that was mistaken as being uptight and snobbish and somebpdy who has an attitude problem! Puhlease! I'm the last person who'll have attitude problem! But after anybody thinking such have become my friend, they admit my so called image is ablsolute rubbish.
   Therefore I think if being shy and quiet becomes snobbish then being out spoken and sugary sweet becomes socialable! So typical P3 type! But if it is really thay way, then I'm happy being an uptight snob! :)

-Heli..

A Token...of Thanks!

   Thanks a lot, to all those who have read, joined, commented and encouraged my start so generously:) Really, I feel happy and less insecure to know that I'm doing well.   

   Funny thing, praise is. People use to it demand more, but value less. I, obviously love getting it (who doesn't!?) but feel the need to confirm it. It is not because it pleases my ears and I want to hear it again, but beacuse I have a bit difficulty believing it the first time. I fear I'm being mocked at( like I usually am..sadly). But anyway, keep up all of your latest project 'Encourage Me' and I'll continue sharing a piece of my mind!
   Not writting much today as for once I am sleepy at midnight! Now that is something new and I'm sure my parents would agree!;) So signing off untill tommorrow. Thank You once again! I'll sleep well tonight:)

 

-Heli..

Lost and Magically Found!

   Really frustrating! What? The feeling I get when I can't find a thing which I've misplaced and can't find when needed. Like right now I can't find my pen-drive, and I really need it. All probable places searched. All unusual-place-so-will-definately-remember places also searched. So now I'm sure it is exactly where I kept it last(which I obviously don't remember now) and is still there, but it's suddenly turned invisible!

   Incidentlly, that reminds me of the book I'm reading right now. It is A Place Called Here by the best selling author of P.S, I Love You, Cecelia Ahern. The story is about a place where all the lost things go. And not only things, all the lost things, food and drinks, feelings, forgotten laughter,cries,chuckles,smells, even people! Yes, very interesting. Seems a bit magical too. For those who believe it of course. Those who do not, scoffs at such an idea, call it childish even. But don't we all have a child in us who wants to believe in magic? To childsihly believe that some fairy or ginnie will come, wave the magical wand or snap fingers twice, and everything will be perfect? Poof! And the problems are replaced by solutions all worked out with results.

   It is such small 'childish' wishes whcih, even if you don't wan to admit, gives us hope. Hope that everything will be fine soon. And it is actually this hope that clears our mind and helps to plan things forward. So, I do believe in magic. 'Cuz I do have this child in me who is always happy to read such stories. And I also believe that everybody has this child, that only needs a li'l 'magic' to come out. Not so difficult a task.

   I'm often told that I act childishly sometimes. Yeah, I do. And I like it too! Where's the fun if I behave like a responsible, mature adult all the time? Wow, that even sounds so boring, forget doing it! Seriousness round the clock kills the fun of life. A li'l bit of fun lighten ups life and mood. Oh, and it also helps avoid wrinkles and forehead lines! And the best way to have fun is to be a kid. If you've forgotten how then just watch any toddler for 10 minutes! Smile is as much magical as it is infectious:) Specially comming from children. You can't help but respond to them, right?

   So, go find your lost smiles and laughter to get some fun in your life. Or simply find a child, and your solution will be found- magically! Keep Smilling! :)

-Heli..

Talking Photographs/Pictures!

   It is said that a painting can express more than words. True. I say even a picture can say a lot- if looked at properly. The person/people in the pic are interesting to study. The face, I mean. The expression, the emotion- if looked carefully as I said. And the best part is the eyes.

  I have this habit of observing eyes, of people I know, or even random people. But it's kinda rude to randomly stare at people just because to observe their eyes. So I find that pictures are best way to do so. Of course, not as effective as seeing in real, but it works most of the time for me.

  I have another habit of first checking out the thumbnails of profile pictures of the people online when I sign in on Facebook. I check the name of the of the pic which intriuges me the most. Most of the times it matches perfectly with the person's personality. And pro pics generally give the general idea of the current state of that person. This again needs careful looking or more likely observing. And that demands patience. The most difficult thing to have, especially when needed. Even I, somebody with truck load of patience, sometimes find it difficult to summon my patience when I really, really need it. But I manage most of the other times.

   And so, with patience like mine, it is easier n interesting to observe whatever I want. Just like the pro pics. And when the pic doesn't match with the person, I go the proper pic and really observe. I always get some or the other idea about why he/she must have set that particular pic only. But mind it, there are very few pictures like that that I get really interested about. Because I'm talking about the genral face normal pro pics that most people keep. Oh, don't worry I'm not some crazy person that stalks profiles and stares at photographs all day! It's just a thing I like to do sometimes, specially I'm seeking some answers to some questions/problems. It helps...sometimes:)

  Because there are so many unsaid things, ignored or hidden emotions, misunderstood thoughts, hurt, happiness, fear, anger, mischief...etc that the eyes convey even when words don't. Specially in the randomly clicked pictures,totally taken off guard. That's the moment what is going on in the mind gets refelected in the eyes. The strongest or the most vulnerable moment. Eitther way it says a lot.

   So try it sometime, when you are in a state of hanging on to your patience, because I'm not giving any examples! It is something to be experienced, not just told. As for my pro pic, my eyes are not seen in it, which means that maybe I don't wanna reveal what's in my mind currently! But one can always try to guess;)

-Heli

   

Excitement of First Day!

   Wow, okay! So, this is it. My first day of blogging! The regular bloggers might be bored with this but, I obviously feel very excited to have opened my very own blog. It's same excitement of any 'first days', you know? First day at school (although nobody remembers theirs!), tutions, hobby classes, college, work, first day of friendship, relationship,commitment. The list is endless, ofcourse, different types with same feeling. Nervousness,happiness,questions! How will it be? The most important of all. Start anything new and that's one question which always pops up. Expectance of praise, fear of criticism. All jumbled bundle of nerves and emotions! And it is very much part of doing anything new.

   So, here I am, with my jumbled bundle of nerves and emotion, ready to empty my mind (which is always thinking so always full!) to this wonderful outlet! This is going to be my escape from my thoughts, my mind which takes me far away if i give in to it, and which is not always a happy ride to somewhere and back. Thus, Escapades Farway! Hoping it to be...well everthing I've hoped it to be, with everybodys' and anybody's support that I have and wish to have.

   Please feel free to let me know your opinions on any of my coming up blogs...comment,advise,consolation,best wishes,suggestions,criticism...everything....just tap away! Thank You!

-Heli..