Outlet To Confusion...My Way!

   Everybody have different ways of reacting to confusion and the kind of depressing feeling it brings along. I, for instance, go real quiet and way into my thoughtful mode(well, atleast more than usual!). Whether I come up with a solution or not is never promised, but I always(and obviously) do need an outlet for those 'thoughts'. Now I have this wonderful option of blogging, but since years, my outlet mostly always has been my poems. They are the deepest and truest, most exact expression of the state of my mind. And I secretly think that nobody,yet, has fully and exactly understood any of them, except me ofc. That gives a feeling of security, although I don't know why! But even then, unknowingly, I keep on searching/waiting for atleast one person who'd take this exception of me; again I don't know why! And I don't even know why I'm writing all this now! See the confusion? I got lots more!:) So here's one outlet to such confusion:

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

To be or not to be
That gurl they wanna see
To be or not to be
That gurl they fail to see
To be or not to be
What I or they don't believe
To be or not to be me?
A soul so thoughtful
Understands everyone's wonderful
Is she a fool?
To trust, think, feel, talk
The trust never doubtful or wavering
The thought never selfish,only considerate
So, does the feeling have to be only pain?
The talk only superficially happ?
The dilemma that haunts day and night
The lonliness that creeps up in a crowd
The hurt locked up deep inside
Will it ever solve, disappear, dissolve?
'Cuz when it does, I'm waiting..
To be or not to be Me...

-Heli...